yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
soo... how was my night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize