So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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