my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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