Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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