I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize