Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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