i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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