based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize