thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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