I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
PANTIES FOUND
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize