11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dicks are not precious.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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