i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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