I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is wine microwaveable?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize