i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize