Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize