he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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