I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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