I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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