Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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