we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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