Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize