We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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