I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize