Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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