A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you never un-have a 4some
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize