Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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