remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Apparently you make a good broom.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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