My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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