This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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