I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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