the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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