I'm jealous of your bromance
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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