Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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