have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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