my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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