Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize