I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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