I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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