So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize