I wish my penis had an off switch
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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