Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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