I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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