ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize