dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize