Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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