I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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