Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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