Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
this will be a night to untag.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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