Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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