Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize