Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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